what single means

i've always use 'busy' as the excuse not to find time with my friends as i find myself inadequate in a way. i'm still single yet most of them r married. it's the biggest hinderance for me 2 meet them as i feel awkward & probably ashamed bout it. being single i mean

im x the only one 'single' in the world. the word single is terrifying & for some, devastating when age comes into the picture. age is just a number they say but when the 4 0 strikes, then u'll be working ur mind towards the question "why am i still alone?"

it'll be years for me to reach that stage & seeing a good friend of mine who is still 'alone' in that area is actually unexplainable by words. at times, u'll say to yourself "ill be ok if i'm there". at times, "i think i can manage things on my own as i've been doing it now myself". at times, "i dont even care if it truly happens 1 day"

yet, there's always this one odd feeling inside. i call it EMPTINESS.

through a thoughtful discussion with my fellow comrades ( the singles ladies of course ), all of us actually shares that particular feeling in different ways. my best friend said her EMPTINESS happens when she is fighting through her tight schedule of handling her nephew & nieces (she is the legal caretaker as their mother passed away of cancer), her job & her travel. She is alone in this & somewhere along the way, when she needs support & care the most, there's only her there doing it with all her might. i always see her as a real SUPERWOMAN but deep down in her heart, she is empty and hollow. days pass, she becomes cold & senseless. her care is a responsibility & she doubted her own sincerity in doing all her duties. is this the feelings cause by the EMPTINESS of her heart?

another story shared by a friend of mine is an EMPTINESS of a different kind. a lady proposed for marriage numerous time, had always said NO for unknown reasons. she lives alone with her mother & still develops queries among people of why she rejected every single marriage proposals she received. one day however, her mother fell terribly ill of stroke. she is petite & carrying the mother to the bathroom is actually way out of her league. there, it strikes her that a man is needed in the house to help her with this. the EMPTINESS here is the need of another stronger human being to help her & to ensure her safety in the house as well. love is not even discussed here as for her there is no NEED for it.

a woman being single nowadays is a common affair. a normal practice some say. the rate however is increasing. worrying for some group namely PARENTS and mothers especially. my mother including. yet, the best thing about her is the positive thoughts that she always put in me about being patient. she is the epitome of fruitful patience. with her patience & resilience, she manages to hold on to her marriage for 34 years through all the ups & downs. patience is blissful in a way no one can explain & hopefully, all the SINGLE LADIES out there will do so.